Wife Guilt (noun): a feeling of remorse for failing to do things you feel you are responsible for doing as a wife
I feel guilty inside every time I step out of home leaving my husband behind at home with kids. I work from home and am always there to cater to the needs of my husband and my family. I am always on my toes and try my best, but why it happens that when I fail, I cringe and start feeling guilty.
What does it feel like?
It’s a tough spot to be in. We as wives and mothers are only human. It’s natural to not to meet the unrealistic expectations of the society and people around. It’s natural to fail at being a perfect wife, no matter what we do and how much we try something. When we fail to fulfil our wifely duties, we suffer from wife guilt.
Lately, whenever I step out of home leaving my husband behind with kids, the wife guilt takes over my mind. The thought of being not with him to help with the kids and home chores kills the joy of spending some “me time” away from the chaos. I start feeling bad for leaving him at home while I go to events or party with my friends.
Owing to my work commitments, I haven’t been able to take care of things that I personally consider to be part of my wifely duties. While my husband never really complains (and probably never will because he’s just not that kind of a man), I still feel guilty.
I feel guilty for not having a chance or showing any interest in tidying up the house or putting things back where they belong. I feel guilty for not being home somedays to cook him his favourite meals. I feel guilty for being so worn out at bedtime some days that I’m often too tired and not pay attention to him like I want to. “Wife guilt” has become a very real thing for me.
What helps me overcome my wife guilt?
Whenever I find myself succumbing and wallowing in wife guilt, I remind myself that my husband is my partner in life. We are interdependent and marriage is not always going to be a fair deal of 50/50.
A husband and wife are teammates. The only way to make this partnership successful is by helping each other and filling the gaps for each other. Some days will be heavy for us and some days our husbands will do the heavy lifting.
Keeping the communication open. Always and forever. No judgements. No taunts. No comments. Only listening and thinking from the heart, more than the mind. How else will you ever express your emotions, feelings and thought? How else will your husband confide in you?
Reaching out to each other. A wife and husband are together and equally responsible when it comes to family and household. Reach out to each other whenever required. Don’t hesitate. Express each other’s wishes directly. Cribbing to others instead of talking to each other is only going to increase the communication gap. Don’t let it happen.
A lot of times, as wives, we don’t give our husbands enough credit. When I deal with wife guilt, I remind myself who I married and why I chose to marry him. I remind myself that we took vows to love and be with each other for better or worse and that as man and wife, we are supposed to be the strongest support system for each other.
Our husbands can be a great support system if we let them and trust them. I can’t thank my husband enough for NOT being upset when I can’t fulfil my wifely duties. I thank him for understanding and supporting me. I thank him for being the wind beneath my wings as I work towards pursuing my dreams. I thank him for having my back always, for being my partner and teammate, and for being the only man I want to spend my life with.
How do you deal with your mom guilt?
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