Shyness in children is far too common especially when they are toddler age. Most kids outgrow this trait with age and time. However, some children remain shy and grow into shy or introverted adults.
Many children feel anxious on their own. They need physical and emotional support alongwith the closeness of reassuring adults all the time.
Some common traits exhibited by shy toddlers are:
- holding on to the mother’s/care taker’s/teacher’s clothing
- thumb sucking
- nail biting
- demanding approval for every action
However, when a child is extremely shy and has trouble forming relationships with people outside the immediate family, there is a cause for worry.
Impact of shyness on children and teens
Children and teens who are shy can face difficulties at school and difficulties in forming relationships.
Following are some signs that indicate that your child’s shyness might be severely impacting them and that they may need help coping with it:
- Decreased social skills or involvement in socialization
- Fewer friends
- Less or selective participation in activities like sports, dance, drama, or music
- Feelings of isolation, loneliness, unimportance and self-consciousness
- Anxiety
- Visible signs like blushing, stammering and trembling
What causes shyness in children?
What’s most important to understand is that if your child is paying attention to the opinions of others and stressing over them, it can lead to a lessened ability for your child to reach their full potential.
Social experiences also tend to influence shyness. It’s also believed that most shy children develop shyness because of interactions with their parents.
Certain parenting behaviours (or other influences) cause or create shyness in children. Parents who are authoritarian or overprotective can cause their children to be shy. Children who aren’t allowed to experience things or interact with the outside world may have trouble developing social skills.
Children often learn how to behave by watching their parents. If you are shy, you might be teaching your child to be shy.
Some more reasons are:
- Few chances to meet people or interact with them
- Insecurity/lack of confidence
- Over protection
- Criticising the child in front of others
Also Read
Is Your Child Grinding Teeth In Sleep? It Could Be Stress
Lead by Example – Confident Parents Raise Confident Kids
Importance of Positive Parent-Child Relationship
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How to help your child overcome shyness?
While shyness is a natural stage in development that your child will most likely grow out of, there are ways you can support them. Some things you can do to help them include:
- Avoid calling your child ‘shy.’
- Accept your child as they are without making them feel guilty.
- Give affection and attention and make your child feel secure. For ex.: Include your child’s name in stories or rhymes, and give small responsibilities like cleaning the table or putting away the toys. Give them tasks that they can accomplish.
- Encourage your child to discuss any fear that they might have and empathise with your child by sharing your stories of times when you felt shy.
- Be attentive while listening to your child, without being busy with another activity. Make positive comments.
- Give your child the freedom to explore, experiment and create. Let them figure it out within acceptable limits.
- Don’t force your child to talk to others.
- Prepare your child for any upcoming event that will require them to interact socially or expose to an unfamiliar environment.
- Allow your child to develop meaningful friendships with other children.
- Don’t overprotect your child.
- Don’t tease or mimic him.
- Don’t reinforce shyness by paying too much attention or overreacting to his shyness.
Bright Tip: Teach your child positive self-talk. Let the child repeat saying good things about himself. For example, I can walk on tiptoe; I can jump three stairs, etc.
Bottom Line
Shyness is a very common behaviour that most children experience at some point in their development. It is important to remember that it can be a temporary issue and with the right intervention you can help your child overcome shyness.
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