Part 2 – Dear mumma,
Become an “Advocate” for your Mental Health
Mothers go through a lot of pathological, physical and mental changes during pregnancy and after birth. While most of us are aware of “baby blues“, it’s hugely different from postpartum depression or PPD. These two conditions can be differentiated on two main factors- duration and severity of symptoms.
What does it mean to become an advocate for your mental health?
In very simple words it means voicing your concerns and taking charge of your mental health without the fear of stigma or judgements. Taking charge of your own health entails:
- forming healthy habits
- making time for self-care
- learning to appreciate yourself and your mental health at every stage of your life
When mental health gets affected, one can tend to feel out of control of one’s self and life in general. Regaining control of your mental health by taking a stand for yourself will restore your optimism and self-esteem, allowing you to strive toward recovery.
Read about myths associated with maternal mental health
What stops mothers from advocating for their mental health?
Unfortunately, in most parts of the world, mental health and mental disorders are not regarded with anything like the same importance as physical health. In the case of maternal mental health, mothers face a lot of challenges while speaking up due to the following reasons:
- the stigma attached with the mental health
- fear of judgement
- fear of being tagged or labelled
- family or societal pressure
- mom guilt taking over self-care and self-love
- lack of family support
- Imposter Syndrome
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Alongwith all the factors mentioned above, below are a few of the “self-doubts” that stop mothers from advocating for their mental health:
1. I don’t think I need a therapist. Everything is on the internet. I’ll search and read, and maybe I’ll find a solution.
We’re mothers and everyone, including ourselves, expects us to be strong or rather, strongest. We carry that fuzziness and heaviness within us and don’t utter a word, forget about reaching out for help
The first thing we do to find a solution to pretty much everything is to search on the internet. With no dearth of internet messengers like WhatsApp and Telegram, all sorts of messages about mental health appear everywhere.
“Self-awareness” is fine, “self-diagnosis” isn’t. Reach out to the right people who have the expertise and experience, aka a certified and qualified practitioner with deep knowledge and understanding of the subject.
2. I am afraid that If I go to a therapist, I will be “labelled” in a negative way.
This is the biggest “stigma” around reaching out for help. Well, you are not wrong in thinking like this because it’s the fault of our society that never took mental health seriously. That’s how women and mothers have been conditioned over ages and ages.
There’s a lack of knowledge and awareness around maternal mental health resulting in prejudices and discrimination. Don’t let false beliefs and someone else’s perception of you destroy your mental wellbeing.
3. I don’t know why am I feeling like this? Is it me or the things and people around me have changed?
Ah! That’s a tough one and there’s always a grey area here. There can be an overlap of triggers and situations which can be very confusing.
It becomes hard to determine the actual cause of our responses, actions and that persistent feeling of hollowness and disinterest that follows. This is when you need somebody who can help you to look within you and help you find answers.
Mental health is something that doesn’t have a fixed self-help manual or a vade mecum that can be followed to get to an answer. But a therapist or a mental health practitioner can help in lifting the weight that you are carrying within you.
4. I want to seek help? But how do I find help? How do I know what’s right for me? I feel better anyway after talking to my mom or my friend. I think I’ll be fine.
We definitely feel better after talking with our friends and family, but then why do we spiral back to the same fuzziness? The chest starts feeling heavier and it’s almost like there’s a huge weight on the shoulders.
Infact, what you felt after talking with your dear ones was a momentary release of sadness and pressure. It can never be compared with what a therapist can make you feel. It can feel like releasing a breath bated for a long time when you release your emotions with control under expert guidance.
How to Become an Advocate for Your Mental Health?
1. Educate yourself!
Creating a lifestyle that supports wellness (physical and mental) requires knowledge about your best options, what can work best for you, what can be the best approach, etc. When you learn more and know the facts, it’s a lot easier to design a self-care plan and find the help or resources you need.
Hearing from others who have faced challenges similar to yours can also be a form of education. Everyone has a story to tell and it can be beneficial to hear from someone who has gone through the same experience. They might even inspire you to come up with your own ideas for steps that would be beneficial to you.
2. Including small wellness practices in daily life
Taking the time for some minor self-care tasks is a part of wellness. These are self-care techniques that will help you maintain a healthy routine. Keeping a daily journal, doing yoga, or simply changing a mundane chore into a fast meditation are all examples of wellness practises.
3. Live a life free from fear of stigmas
Stigmas can stand in the way of your ability to value and care for yourself. They can leave you with feelings of shame, sadness, self-doubt and other self-sabotaging emotions. The world is filled with stigmas around mental health, and choosing to reject them is an important component of self-advocacy. Stigmas are contagious; simply being in their presence might cause us to internalise the bad views held by others.
Read Four Life Lessons My Children Taught Me While At Home
Bottom Line
Make conscious efforts to live a life free of stigmas. Stop and remind yourself that your feelings are real and your mental health is vital. Recognize that you are valuable enough to devote time to self-care, support and education. Recognize that you are greater than your own struggles or diagnosis.
Be patient and kind to yourself. Recognize that you are deserving of others’ kindness and patience, even if you don’t always get it. The first step towards becoming an advocate for your mental health is to believe in yourself.
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